Tales From a Second Hand Wand Shop- Book 1: They Were the Best of Gnomes. They Were the Worst of Gnomes

Description

Two Gnomes combine their used wand shops hoping to increase profits. They get magic, mischief, and mayhem for their trouble. They also get ruthless invading Halflings (book 2), one of them captured by cannibal Elves (book 3), girlfriends who are black widows (book 4), and a long-lost treasure (book 5).
Prepare yourself for action, adventure, and a love story here and there.
And, of course belching, cavorting Gnomes.

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About the Author

Author Name : Robert P. Wills

     I am a retired Military Intelligence Chief Warrant Officer Four from the U.S. Army. As with most retired folks, I have moved (with my long-suffering wife) to Kissimmee, Florida. We are enjoying the wild and crazy lifestyle that is empty nesting. By that I mean on Friday nights we are in our pajamas by 6PM. Along with this writing thing I am doing, I am an avid inventor with three patents under my belt (6,559,556, 7,293,681, and 8,561,951), and several innovations in my gara... err secret laboratory. My second invention the World's Greatest Garden Hose Guide is currently available on Amazon. When I can keep it in stock. I believe my manufacturers are cleverly disguised Orcs. If that wasn't enough, I also have a marginally successful wand business on Etsy under the name SecondHandSorcery where customers are routinely insulted by Grimbledung. The odd part is that they seem to like it. I sell my inventions under the name SixToes Innovations- a US Veteran owned company. Buy American, people!

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All I ever knew is rejection in my life.

The complexion of tar imprinting a permanent scar of strife.

A Scarlett letter of a dark color, treated like a stain.

Wanting society to treat me fair, though all I get is pain.

Mama never liked me because I didn’t fit the mold.

I can’t control who I am, and I refuse to quiet my bold.

For it is the shield of armor against a world complacent in hate.

Be it home life, work life or love life – it seems to be my fate.

That no matter how hard I push myself, I hardly get too far.

When everyone around you wants to tell you who you are.

What you’ll never be – places you’ll never see. A caged bird it feels I am.

I’m simply screaming to the world, ‘just let me be! got damn!’

I’m not trying to hurt nobody, though plenty have hurt me.

When I gave my love to a phony tony, my heart was stolen – lock & key.

Showing me no mercy through the journey of his loveless game of chess.

Playing on my emotions in the guise of devotion, he showed me hate the best.

Dressed up as love in its purest and most sincere form, initially…

Eventually placidly yet drastically, I felt myself drowning in toxicity.

It took me three agonizing years before I found my exit route

Wheeling away the remainder of my feelings in an empty brouette.

In my departure, he didn’t neglect to remind me of my flaws

Too dark! Too strong! Too eccentric. For every effect, I was the cause.

Of why he wouldn’t and couldn’t, stand tall, deep in love with me.

This is the story of my life – Oh what a tragedy….

Maybe one day soon I hope, I’ll be more than just a stain

Dark and lovely forever defines me, as I long for fortune and gain! 

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