Tales From a Second Hand Wand Shop- Book 1: They Were the Best of Gnomes. They Were the Worst of Gnomes

Description

Two Gnomes combine their used wand shops hoping to increase profits. They get magic, mischief, and mayhem for their trouble. They also get ruthless invading Halflings (book 2), one of them captured by cannibal Elves (book 3), girlfriends who are black widows (book 4), and a long-lost treasure (book 5).
Prepare yourself for action, adventure, and a love story here and there.
And, of course belching, cavorting Gnomes.

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About the Author

Author Name : Robert P. Wills

     I am a retired Military Intelligence Chief Warrant Officer Four from the U.S. Army. As with most retired folks, I have moved (with my long-suffering wife) to Kissimmee, Florida. We are enjoying the wild and crazy lifestyle that is empty nesting. By that I mean on Friday nights we are in our pajamas by 6PM. Along with this writing thing I am doing, I am an avid inventor with three patents under my belt (6,559,556, 7,293,681, and 8,561,951), and several innovations in my gara... err secret laboratory. My second invention the World's Greatest Garden Hose Guide is currently available on Amazon. When I can keep it in stock. I believe my manufacturers are cleverly disguised Orcs. If that wasn't enough, I also have a marginally successful wand business on Etsy under the name SecondHandSorcery where customers are routinely insulted by Grimbledung. The odd part is that they seem to like it. I sell my inventions under the name SixToes Innovations- a US Veteran owned company. Buy American, people!

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A silent being filled with hate

Crossed oceans in a bitter state.

Spied a scourge in Everglades port,

Contrived a plan—the wicked sort.

The only way to find relief?

Destroy the vicious, heartless thief.

 

Justice was served at dinnertime,

With no one near to see the crime.

The dour man lurched, his fate was sealed,

Disposed at sea—his death concealed.

Though retribution was a need,

It came by way of evil deed.

 

The absent beast was soon dismissed,

Except by the recidivist.

Questions were asked, no clues were chased,

His bags were gone—his name erased.

The nefarious soul remained consumed,

The ship sailed on, routine resumed.

 

Revenge the price for freedom bought,

Arrived in time to stir the plot.

Two doors slammed shut, a blade dropped fast,

Shipmates stood by—their mouths aghast.

A headless corpse bled on the floor,

While villains planned to kill once more.

 

The ship’s crew masked their growing fears,

As mounting deaths slowed moving gears.

From steel-lined lift to ocean deep,

Lives were lost—yet few would weep.

For who could love a blackguard’s heart,

Except a heinous counterpart.

 

The sullen riders sought to blame,

All trapped inside a villain’s game.

Was there a demon on this craft?

Starboard, port, bow—or on the aft?

The ship of fools sailed aimlessly,

While hooded death steered ‘cross the sea. 


—Kaylin McFarren
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