In this life everything is impermanent, if you’re stuck in a “need to know mind” the door to true freedom will never be experienced because there’ll always be the thought that there’s something more to know.

Every belief arises from a thought that makes it arise and until it’s questioned to see if it has validity, it will continue its control. In the space of a “Don’t Know Mind” is where each moment can be seen anew without it being a concept or belief from some deeply engrained Conditioned Mind Pattern from the past. These are the blocks to truly living the life one is given. The Conditioned Mind constantly draws on the past and brings it into Now. This is because the mind has been conditioned with the need to know. This is one of the reasons programs, therapy, self help books, and whatever else are grasped for, even though they have a very low success rate. If something has a very low success rate, why would you rely on it? I’ll tell you why, it’s because the mind tells you at least it’s something you can knowingly hold onto. Case in point, 12 Step programs and rehabs have a very low success rate, yet they are constantly used. To me this makes no sense to hold on to something with a low success rate. Same thing with therapy, 3 years, 5 years, you will know all about yourself, but after that time you are still in bondage.

The “Don’t Know Mind” opens a door into the vast space of emptiness and it can’t be understood because it’s not what’s being looking for; what is mostly looked for is something that can be known, this way it can be attached to. Stop all the nonsense that you think you need to know about and start investigating what you have in place that keeps you from understanding, there’s nothing to know. Oh how the noise in the head keeps the noise of the “Need to Know Mind” in place. In this life everything will pass because everything is impermanent, but if you’re stuck in a mind that needs to know, the opening of the door to true freedom will never be experienced because there will always be the thought that there’s something more to know and needed to rely on.


Feelings are a given, they’ll always be there. To feel is human, but taking them to the next level to form concepts is when attachment arises as a belief the feeling needs to be different.

If it’s not learned to just be with the feeling that arises, it will control you. This is because of the conditioning of a mind that wants to push the feeling away and change it. How this works is, let’s say someone walks up to you and says something that you don’t particularly care for, immediately there’s attachment as there’s the feeling of not caring for what was said. And where there’s attachment, there’s the tendency to react the way you always react when someone says something that’s not cared for. This is done again and again because of the conditioning in place. Someone says something you don’t care for and you wind up saying something back to them. What you do is take their dissatisfaction and make it your own and then you throw your dissatisfaction back at them. Now basically you are at war.

Feeling aren’t right or wrong, there’s very little facts as to why they arise. The main thing is to allow their energy to remain free flowing so it doesn’t get bottled up and form a conditioned concept. These concepts are formed by attachment to mind patterns that change a simple feeling into a story; the story being the feeling needs to be changed. It’s not true the feeling needs to be changed, but that’s what the conditioned energy does, it makes you believe a feeling is unpleasant and a pleasant one would be better. This is energy that wants to push away when feelings arise because it doesn’t understand they aren’t right or wrong, they are just what’s there and you don’t have to attach to them.


Life happens, but it’s our own mind through the thought process in place that makes it what it is. Our mind creates our entire world through the possessiveness of thought.

There are things we would rather not happen, but they do, and they have to be accepted or there will never be peace in one’s life. At least to where one can be with what is happening instead of getting bogged down in wanting it different. Although the small stuff can seem difficult, the life altering things can seem devastating if there isn’t an awareness of how it’s one’s Conditioned Mind that makes this so. Loss of loved ones, homes destroyed; along with all our possessions and memories, accidents, illnesses, these are just some of the occurrences that can alter our state if they’re not accepted for what they are, and what they are is nothing but a thought.

Life occurs and through thought it appears as the mind makes it appear. There is nothing to life except what the Conditioned Mind makes it out to be. Our own mind uses thought to create an entire existence that is only real to our own mind. The more life is lived in this manner, the more difficult it is to accept life’s daily occurrences. This lack of acceptance is only because of a lack of understanding of one’s own mind. It’s one’s own mind that creates the appearance that life has difficulties and this happens because one is entrapped to the thought that everything is as it appears, but only because it has been conditioned to do so.

There are different ways to handle things as they arise in life, but the key to not being controlled by them is to understand why and who is it that's being controlled.

As life happens, the way the happenings are handled depends on how one relates themselves to what happens. One way and the most usually, is to make the self so personal that it's attached to as if what's happening is happening to you. This is very constricting and creates much suffering because it's made as if there's a fault as to why it happened. This is when the would've, should've, could've mind takes over. That there's a you who things happen to is the conventional way of seeing not only yourself, but also what happens. Nothing truly happens to you, things do happen, but nothing directly happens to you unless there's a you who attaches to it. I'm not saying ignore what happens, but without the attachment to "I" things that happen are allowed to be as they are without the mind creating suffering. This is not how most people handle things. The conventional thought is there has to be an emotional tie to what happens, but what's not understood is you don't have to suffer. This isn't seen because of the attachment to a self that only exist in the mind.

No one has to suffer through life, but if the herd mentality is blindly followed, than suffering will be the norm. The last few days have allowed me to go deeper within to see how our own suffering is created by holding onto a self that's been programmed by the conditioning of what is considered normal. If you can't change what occurred why replay it over and over? Replaying it doesn't change it, but it does cause it to remain stagnant and create a Conditioned Mind Pattern that doesn't allow one to see there really isn't a you to hold onto anything. If you don't think this is true, where is this self that is so adamantly held onto? I am blessed by the many friends and support I have on Facebook. I will just say this, I am the same today as I was before this mouth thing happened and it's because without the attachment to self, although what happened happened, it didn't happen to me. And so to me nothing has changed and it's not because it's being ignore, it's because there's no attachment to a self to make it personal....

One can only see things as they are revealed and although it can’t be any other way, don’t kid yourself, this doesn’t mean it’s truth that’s seen, it just means it’s the way you see things.

Unless one truly investigates themselves to the point where they see their lies (delusion), truth will continue to be something made up. Knowing this makes it difficult responding to some of the responses to my articles as many don’t come from a place of stillness (truth), they respond from the noise of the Conditioned Mind. I don’t say this because I know everything, matter of fact I know very little, but what I do know doesn’t seem to be comprehended by some. I know this simply by the responses there are to some of my articles. This isn’t a popularity contest and what people think of me is not a concern; planting seeds of truth is all that matters. I’ve been removed from many groups because my post are misinterpreted as me stating my truth, but I never profess to know what truth is, I only talk about what remains after the lies are exposed.

The other day someone wrote there are seven billion truths in the world because there are roughly seven billion people, but this is the major issue with humanity, everyone perceives things their way and because of their conditioning it’s thought to be truth; there’s only one truth and no it’s not mine. Just because you think it, see it, or someone else writes it and you attach to it and believe it, means nothing. Truth can’t really be known, but one can see the lies in place. When this happens truth isn’t needed because it naturally arises; no individual story necessary. Whenever I write about emotions, forgiveness, hope, and so on, it always stirs up the conditioning in others because it exposes the normal lies. I will never waver from what has been revealed to because I can’t. Popularity is not what I seek, selling books is not what I seek, matter of fact there’s nothing sought because I know there’s only one truth and when seven billion people stop making up their own, just maybe there will be peace on earth.


The projection you have for something is the projection you have for yourself. Without a settled mind this will not be seen so projecting will continue to be the controlling energy in place.

There will be many unpleasant things that occur in life, but they’re considered unpleasant only because that’s how they’re projected and this is where suffering arises from. This projecting process is at our core, but without it the creation that there’s a you who doesn’t like what’s happening would never arise. Also without the unpleasant attached projection, one wouldn’t need for things to be different so there wouldn’t be a need to try and make things pleasant; after all projecting to make life pleasant is how life is mostly lived. Always wanting life pleasant is why so many are in a constant state of discontentment, it has nothing to do with what’s going on out there, it has everything to do what’s going on inside. Nothing can cause discontentment unless it’s allowed and it’s only allowed because it’s not known how not to project it.

Because of the conditioning in place most people will just go along with what society and the so called experts have to say. To much is taken as the norm without looking to see the underlying truth and this is why there is so much projecting. The projection you have for something or someone is the projection you have for yourself. Without a settled mind this will not be seen so the projecting energy will continue to be the controlling energy in place. Projection breeds projection always, and suffering leads to suffering always. To me suffering isn’t necessary, and in the present moment I have found it doesn’t truly exist, not because unpleasant things don’t happen, but because they just aren’t projected as so.

There's not much life in something that's stagnant and this is what happens when one's free flowing energy is cut off by a fixed view; the fixation causes one to suffer.

A fixed view on something is what causes one to get locked into only seeing things from the side of suffering. It matters little what that fixed view is, as it's the rigidness of being in a fixed mode that doesn't allow free flowing energy. The is what happens when a story is created and it becomes the fixed view of what life is about in any particular moment. This becomes deeply engrained hence deeply fixed as one becomes more and more emotionally tied into whatever it is that's being focused on. It's very difficult to not attach to something that is held dear to our hearts, such as our children, spouse, parents, relatives, friends and so on, but you can have compassion, passion, and genuine love for something without attaching to luland being fixated on it.

To me this fixed view is the normal view of most people and it's why many suffer unnecessarily. I've noticed this occurring in so many lives and I can see the suffering it's causing. Unfortunately those in the midst of this fixed view cannot see it, nor can one pull themselves out of it until the fixed view is seen as the cause of their suffering. The fixed viewed doesn't allow the openness needed to be free from attachment and since attachment is the root of suffering, suffering ensues. The tighter the grip of something, the more one becomes fixated on it and the less free flowing energy there is in one's life. There's not much life in something that's stagnant and this is exactly what happens when one's free flowing energy is cut off; the fixed view controls life and causes one to suffer....

Life is constant movement, it never stops. If the movement of the moment is noticed, it will allow much more understanding of one’s life than if one is blindly controlled by past habitual mind patterns.

If the movement of the moment isn’t seen, that’s when the habitual conditioned patterns from the past take over; it’s just the process in place. You can be in a state where you are happy and out of nowhere arises something that triggers one of you past habitual patterns. Depending on what arises is based in, that will determine if you are still happy after it’s attached to. This is how it works, we’re pulled around by patterns and the movement of the moment is unnoticed so it’s controlling energy attaches to what pattern is associated with the movement. This is where everything arises from, feelings, emotions, sensations, and whatnot, hence the puppet on a string syndrome takes hold if the movement of the moment isn’t noticed. Think about this, you can’t have any feeling or emotional swing without attachment to the movement of the moment, most people don’t really have any inkling of this and because of that, very few truly live life. I don’t say this in jest, I’m no different, although I probably notice this a little more nowadays.

Here’s something to do to possibly understand the movement of the moment a little better. Make a commitment to sit for a certain time, say thirty seconds, keep it real. In those thirty second just watch what arises, watch the movement, a thought arising and just notice the movement. Just sitting, looking, acknowledging, noticing, letting it arise and pass; all of this is just the movement of each particular moment. This should help in getting a better grasp on the moments movement. Increasing or decreasing the committed sitting time is up to the individual or don’t sit at all and remain a slave to the movement of the moment as it arises and habitually controls your life. It’s the movement of each moment that makes life what it is and if this goes unnoticed so will most of your life.


The more awareness one has of life, the more cooperation there seems to be. This doesn’t mean everything will be as it’s wanted, but what happens is this doesn’t limit the possibilities.

Life will occur whether there’s awareness of what is happening or not. What awareness affords a person is the possibility of a different reaction to what arises and thus a different outcome. It’s pretty much a given what arise arises, there’s no much that can be done in that regard, but how it affects a person has many possibilities. Years ago there weren’t many possibilities to my reactions, they were all based in a very limiting self serving perspective. It was just the way I was conditioned. I wouldn’t have allowed anyone to do half of the things I did to myself, but yet because I didn’t know any better lo and behold self sabotage reactions were what was normal to me. Without the awareness of the conditioning that’s in place today it wouldn’t be possible to be anyway but how I was.

Although today life is still life and what arises, arises, without the self serving view not being as prevalent as it once was, it has opened up so many more possibilities in my life, and what’s truly beautiful about is the self sabotage reactions are becoming less and less; on their own. Being aware of the way one reacts to what happens is where possibilities arise from. When one is stuck in one view, you are limited to only that view and the possibility of reaching your full potential is iffy at best. The more one is in harmony with life, the more life cooperates with you. It doesn’t mean everything will be perfect or go the way you think it should, but the imperfections (only because of a self serving view) won’t limit your possibilities.


The road that leads to a peaceful life begins and ends in your own business. You can be mindful that you’re thinking about what someone else is doing, but the only place you’ll ever be free is in your own business.

When a practice of mindfulness is in place, it’s to allow the present moment to be experienced, this is the place of your own business. Being mindful of what’s actually happening as opposed to being pulled around by it, determines the amount of peace there is in one’s life by allowing you to mind your own business. Life is magical in its essence, but there’s nothing magical in one minding their own business. All roads that lead to a peaceful life begin and end in the present moment and a mindfulness practice will assist in keeping one in their own business.

Watch a thought and be mindful of it, now watch another, this is also a tool as is the breath to be used to keep you in your own business. One can not be mindful of being in someone’s else’s business in the past or future. You can be mindful that you’re thinking about someone’s business in the past or future, but you can never actually be there. Every watched thought or breath can only be taken as it is happening. The more one becomes mindful of this, the more focused one becomes in the body and being in the present moment (your own business) as opposed to grasping for the story of someone else’s business. Be mindful of this article only pertaining to you and then be mindful of what arises. Just be with it by being mindful of what’s happening. It’s in the space of mindfulness that you will find the peace of your own business and this is because the only thing that’s there is how anyone else is conditioned is none of your business.


Life will always be life and it will always be as it is, but you don’t have to be stuck in a mind state where you’re not mindful of what’s actually happening.

To be mindful is to be non reactive in the present moment to what is happening while it is happening. Anything that happens in life doesn’t have any specific effect on a person, it’s effect is directly link to the conditioning that the person has in place; this is why one reacts to what happens the way they do. This reactivity is in place for everyone, it just manifest in different ways. The quality of how mindful one is of what’s happening while it’s happening determines one reactivity to it. Always before something occurs there’s the space of stillness that it arises from, so if one is already in an underlying state of anger, when the next thing arises it’s immediately labeled with anger. How can it not be? If one is in a mindfulness state of love or quietness and the same thing takes place, the reactivity to it will be much different. The key here is to pay attention to things that are skillful and conducive to your well being. This is not always easy to see because of the conditioning. Many of our reactions aren’t really skillful or conducive to our well being, but they’re done anyway because that’s what’s in place and until there’s awareness of this, these reactions will be repeated over and over.

You are always in the present moment whether you are mindful of it or not. When you’re not mindful, this is when what arises grabs hold of you. It’s one of the reasons the Buddha said “Nothing can harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts” because the unguarded thoughts control you as if you were a puppet on a string. This is more of a mindset than effort, it’s being mindful of the awareness aware of awareness. Stillness of each moment is where everything arises from so if your in harmony with this, what arises will have less of an effect on you. Life is life and it will be as it is, but you don’t have to be stuck in a state where you’re not mindful of what’s actually happening.


Many remain stuck seeking because the lie of “I” is never exposed. Life becomes about whatever story is made up as the genuine reality of what truly is is mostly missed.

The definition of emptiness is a lack of inherent existence. When it comes to the mind this is its nature and the reason I say this is because there is nothing in the mind that is inherently there. In this emptiness arises the nature of “I” but there is no isness to “I”. It exist strictly from the story that’s created, there’s no inherent existence. There’s the body that exist and all it’s labeled components, but if each component was unlabeled, the body would still exist, just not in an “I” created state. Look deep within to see if you can truly find where this “I” that’s attached to is. Form is emptiness and emptiness itself is form. It doesn’t mean if everything is reduced, it disappears, it means in its reduction is the thing itself; these are opposites sides of the same coin. Everything that makes up our me, ideas, concepts, memories, feelings, emotions, judgement, likes, dislikes, opinions, experiences, and so on, is attached to as my body, my hair, my ideas and so on. But if we look for “I” behind all this meness and myness where is it? This is what sitting is truly all about, stripping away the layers to this false identification. We identify with all the wrong things and ignore the genuine reality that’s just there.

To me the only reason to look within is to expose this lie of “l” there’s no other reason. A reason can be made up, but this is why many remain stuck seeking because the lie of “I” is never exposed. Life becomes about whatever story is made up, but the genuine reality of what is is missed. This is what “I” is, a story, nothing more. It’s seen as real, but the realness of it can never be grasped. It just creates one story after another with “I” always at the core. Truly investigate this to see if you can find “I” but remember not the story of it, but the genuine reality of what truly is.


As long as there’s ignorance in place, this is the operating energy of one’s life. This operating energy arises as what’s on the surface and it doesn’t allow one to see what’s truly going on.

Often how things appear on the surface isn’t actually how they are. If one truly wants to see what’s going on, getting beneath what is seen on the surface will have to happen. If two people are looking at same thing there are usually two different opinions of what is seen, and than there’s what’s beneath the surface of the formed opinion, this is the truth. It’s the old adage, there’s two sides to every disagreement, there’s my side, their side and than there’s the truth. To stop seeing what’s on the surface one only needs to stop labeling what is seen. Stopping the labeling process allows the mind to slow to a point when space opens up. It’s imperative for this to happen if the conditioning that’s been formed over the years is to lessen its grip.

The conditioning is so misunderstood and how this is known is because of the behavior that’s in place. I look to my own reactions to know this and in the process I can see it in others. This isn’t a judgement, it’s factual. Know your own mind and you will know the mind of others. This is because we are all of the same energy. Are we not? Who among us is from somewhere else. Creation is creation anyway it’s sliced. When the conditioning is seen for what it is, its energy begins to transform in a direction that allows liberation. As long as there is ignorance of this, the energy of ignorance remains as the operating energy of one’s life. This operating energy arises as what’s on the surface and takes on many forms, but the bottom line is it’s the conditioning in place and it doesn’t allow one to see what’s truly going on.

The following is an extract from an article by  Indies United  Group.

Brenda Mohammed is a multi-genre author living in Trinidad and Tobago who has now written and published sixteen books.
Six of her books are memoirs and so we asked Brenda to share what instigated her journey to write such personal stories and share them with the world.

Brenda's response:

When I retired from the Bank at an early age, I was depressed.
Everyone in my family noticed that in the weeks leading up to my retirement that my demeanour had changed.
I had ceased to be jovial and fun loving.
My husband and my sisters did their best to brighten up my days and I managed to force a smile or a giggle to appease them, but no one realized that I was feeling as if I had come to the end of my life.
I went through the motions at the grand retirement party, which the bank staff hosted at a popular restaurant in South Trinidad.
Customers and staff were present.
The ambience was enchanting, and the speeches were great.
Superiors, colleagues, customers, and staff showered me with praises and gifts.
Their words brought tears to my eyes. However, all I could think about was, ‘What lies ahead for me?’

Fortunately, for me, my husband had planned a trip for both of us to attend a friend’s wedding in Virginia in the USA.
We left the morning after the retirement party.
All during the flight, I kept remembering the words of the many who spoke at the party.
It all seemed like a dream.
When we arrived in Virginia, I felt relaxed.
Virginia is remarkably beautiful.
We had so much fun over the next three weeks that I forgot all about the bank.

We returned home after a glorious vacation. I gave away all of my working clothes as I felt that I no longer needed them.
I decided to dabble in art.
Out of nowhere, my talent for art surfaced and I painted several pieces, which I framed and hung in my library.
I applied for other jobs and received positive responses from many firms.
I accepted a job in an Insurance Company, and of course had to buy a new wardrobe of clothes.
Since I did not have to work full time, I needed something else to keep me busy.
It was then that I decided to write My Life as a Banker: A Life worth Living.
The book has been very popular with fellow bankers in Trinidad.
I revised the book in 2014, published it on Amazon and Create Space, and donated copies to the National Library of Trinidad and Tobago, and my Alma Mater St. Augustine Girls’ High School.
My Life as a Banker - A Life worth Living" is a banker's memoir, in which I describe changes in the banking system and changes in the bank's attitude to its employees throughout my working years in a Trinidad bank, with ties in the United Kingdom.
Personal details of my life are the highlights of the memoir.
Reviewers have described the book as Fascinating, Intriguing, Inspiring, Positive, Heartwarming, and Motivational.

Later on, I was having so much fun as a retiree, that I wrote, Retirement is Fun: A New Chapter.
The book is a sequel to "My Life as a Banker - A Life Worth Living."
I learned through my many experiences at the end of my banking career, that retirement is a time to enjoy life.
I faced many challenges such as cancer, deaths of loved ones, and an accident in Miami, which made her realize that life is very short. On the other hand, I landed a new job in an Insurance company and had numerous travel opportunities after I left my job at the bank. I have proven that when one retires from a first job one does not retire from life.

My recovery from cancer inspired me to write another memoir, I am Cancer Free.
It is a book about my battle with Ovarian Cancer.
The killer disease threatened my life and financial well- being.
My strong faith in God saw me through all the trials I had to undergo.
Cancer does not have to be a death sentence.

My career in the Insurance Industry was successful.
I qualified each year for membership in The Million Dollar Round Table [The Premier Association for Financial Professionals], and this gave me many opportunities to travel to different parts of the United States to attend conferences.
My frequent travels worldwide prompted me to write another memoir, Travel Memoirs with Pictures: Exploring the World.
It is an entertaining book filled with reflections of my travels around the world.
I also relate the family adventures and treat readers to a pictorial story of priceless memories.
I describe places visited and the wonderful times my family and I had in our tourist trips.
The book is great to read while on a vacation or for some travel inspiration.

I was later inspired to write yet another memoir – Your Time is Now: A Time to be Born and a Time to die.
I had a driving force within me to write this one.
I based the content on powerful words spoken by King Solomon in the Book of Ecclesiastes about times and seasons. "There is a time to be born and a time to die, and a time for every purpose under the Heaven."

Both My Life as a Banker: A Life worth Living and Retirement is Fun: A New Chapter were nominated in the Category Bio/Memoirs for Metamorph Publishing Summer Indie Book Awards 2016.
The final results showed that My Life as a Banker: A Life worth Living placed second in that category.
I am Cancer Free: A Memoir won the McGrath’s House Indie Book Awards in the category Non-Fiction in November 2016.
I want to take this opportunity to thank all my Facebook friends, family, former banking colleagues, and friends in Author groups, who all voted for my books.
All of my books are registered in the matchbook program on Amazon. When you buy any book in Paperback you get the Ebook FREE.
Here is my Amazon Universal Link...

Whatever is learned that one needs to be happy will be what becomes their pursuit. It’s not right or wrong, but the key is to understand if the pursuit will truly provide what one thinks it will.

I think, although I try not to do too much of it lol, the biggest misunderstanding of my writings are that the view of life I have today is the view I always had. To me, whoever is looked upon for inspiration or whatever, it should be noted that most likely they didn’t always see things as they do now. I have the luxury and in the same breath misgiving of viewing life in two completely different ways, it’s where my insights arise from and the reason why I see what I see. Having lived unconsciously for so many years is actually my greatest asset. When I write about something, it’s always from a lesson that I learned from my past self serving view. It’s never about being smarter or knowing more than anyone else, but what is there is there and it’s what’s shared. When I talk about quietness or stillness, it’s because I lived a life of noise. When there’s talk of attachment, it’s because attachment was my master.

Everyone learns from life’s experiences, it’s what’s done with what’s learned that determines how one lives today. If it’s learned that one needs to have money to be happy, then that will be the pursuit. It’s not right or wrong, but the key is to understand if the pursuit is true. Would money really make everything better? Substitute money with anything. For me I went through a life of much suffering, always reaching for the next fix and today I see this for the lie that it is. When I write something, it’s because I can see the self serving prison I was stuck in and I have been provided with a view of true liberation. I know I’m very direct in my approach, but I’m not insensitive to anyone else’s view, it’s just that I’ve been where most people are and I can see the lies that far too many get stuck in.


Not only is it human to err, but it’s also strictly from being human that one attaches to wanting something different than what it is which causes one’s own suffering.

If you really want to know what the basic flaw seems to be that keeps one entrapped to their own suffering, it’s attaching to our humanness to a fault. It’s not that we aren’t human or that we’ll be able to transcend our humanness, it’s more so to find a way to embrace it, but not be entrapped by it. It will always be succumbing to our human side in some way that causes our suffering. It doesn’t have to be attached to, but it will take discipline so the mind settles to see this. It’s always human to want things different and it’s always attaching to the story of being human that causes suffering. This is true regardless of what’s wanted different.

It’s always the human self that wants something different and it’s the charade of being human that pulls one into suffering. I ordered a pair of sneakers on line and when they were delivered I tried them on and they didn’t fit. By my first reaction you would have thought I was going to have to go barefoot, but that wasn’t the case. I attached to and didn’t accept the fact that the sneakers didn’t fit. This is what attaching to being human does and when I saw how childish this was, the wanting things different fell away and I was able to call Nike so I could get an exchange. You can substitute the sneakers with anything and you’ll get the same childish results of suffering. This is all because not only is it human to err, but it’s also strictly from being human that one attaches to wanting things different than what they are which in turn causes one to be humanly entrapped to their own suffering.


Mindfulness allows discipline of the squirrel cage mind and the more this discipline is developed, the more awareness one has of the delusions that have been in control.

Mindfulness is a deliberate engagement where awareness is basically just noticing and being with what occurs. Mindfulness is like the gate keeper of our thoughts and this is what determines which ones are let in. Many thoughts come to the gate, but when one becomes mindful of them, through awareness it becomes apparent which ones are beneficial and which ones aren’t. The process between mindfulness and awareness can be likened to learning to ride a bicycle. In the beginning there’s much mindfulness of getting on the bike, keeping balanced, peddling, keeping an eye on the road ahead, and trying not to fall, but after about a week this turns to awareness and the mindfulness takes a back seat. It’s still there, but there’s no longer deliberate engagement, there doesn’t have to be. What happens next is “Look Ma, no hands” as riding the bike becomes second nature and is done without needing to think about it.

The deliberate engagement of mindfulness is used to develop discipline so awareness of what’s actually happening is seen. Mindfulness of whatever it is the focus is on, puts one in the present moment; you can’t be mindful of what’s happening right now in the past or future. This is what being mindful allows and the more this discipline is developed, the more awareness one has of the delusions that have been in control. Although certain truths (aha moments) have been revealed to me in the last nine years, they were always in the form of becoming aware of a lie that I had been attached. Secrets of the Universe I do not know, the lies that caused me to create my own suffering I do. It’s a process that started out as a mindfulness practice and has expanded to awareness aware of awareness and it’s in this space of awareness that one can say without thinking about it “Look Ma, no hands.”


One’s self doesn’t cause conflict, it is conflict and as long as this concept of self is in place, there will be conflict and this conflict will always be with itself.

The nature of self is attachment to wanting, the nature of peace is non attachment to wanting; simple yet profound. This is so subtle and it happens without realizing it’s happening. This conflicted self is directly linked to the story of attachment. Every time something is wanted, it’s because the conflicting self has a belief that what’s wanted is needed. This concept of self is always in conflict with the underlying peace that’s always there. One’s self stirs up the thought that it wants peace and this is why it’s nature is conflict because peace is already in place; peace isn’t the nature of self so it does this. If you try to do something like self improvement or anything of that nature to get rid of self, that’s self. If you want your life different, that’s self. So so subtle is the conflicting self, but unfortunately this will not be seen by many.

Awareness aware of awareness is the only state in which the conflicting self is not trying to do something. It’s not trying to be anything different than the form that it is. Life is not a self help program to learn how to be free, the form in existence can be nothing but free, only the conflicting self takes this and makes it into the story that the form isn’t free. The conflicting self is the root of all reaching and seeking, it’s not at the root, it is the root itself. Remove the root and just as naturally as there’s existence in this form, peace will arise. This peace isn’t dependent on anything, it’s what’s always there. It cannot not be there, and it’s only the conflicting self that takes it away. Awareness aware of awareness needs no self to see, just be with this for what it is and know it’s not the self that sees.


A story needs a title to be created. We supply the titles of our stories when we live from the storied self. Without this story of self, our innate Divinity arises naturally without the need to create it.

How attached we are to our stories is related to how much we are connected to our storied self. The more the storied self controls us, the less we are in alignment with our Divine nature. Just think about how the stories occur When anything is wanted for, who is the individual who is wanting? There’s always the common denominator of self and that’s where all stories are derived from. I want this and I want that. I don’t like this. I want this different. I want, I want, I want, all this wanting is just a story that keeps us from experiencing our own Divinity. Without a storied self there won’t be a title created so there will be enough quietness to hear the Divine urging that is our true inner calling.

Our life is always occurring in the Divine of the present moment. Why this isn’t known by more people is because of the attachment to the storied self. The Divine is not a story, it’s Divine it doesn’t need a story, it always is. It’s our human development of a storied self that doesn’t make this known. Anyone who has any inkling of truth in their life has at least minimized their attachment to needing a storied self. It’s the only way to get quiet enough to realize that not only are you not your thoughts, but you are also not the title of a created storied self either.


A lie is always a lie, and until the root of the lie is exposed, truth will remain hidden beneath the justification caused by the ignorance of the lie. Only truth truly sets one free.

A statement is often made “know the truth and it will set you free” but how is one to know what truth is? This is what I use as a guide whenever something holds me in bondage, the fact that there’s some form of bondage confirms something is a lie and if it’s a lie, it can’t be truth. The lie may be justified as it often is because of one’s conditioning, if there’s an attached story to what arises and it’s being held onto, freedom is lost and the lie takes over. Simply put, if there’s no freedom it’s because there’s no truth. Whether this is a method being used, a program, objects, ideas, concepts, beliefs, religions, sex, or whatnot, the moment it becomes a dependency, it pretty much guarantees it’s a lie and not truth. Truth just is, it doesn’t need a label, and because it’s never binding, that’s how you will recognize it.

If you want to understand truth, look at the lies that hold you in captivity. Truth is liberation from the lies. Many just substitute one lie with another and remain living the lie, although it is thought to be truth. Whatever holds you in bondage is a lie so if something has you in its grip and all you do is to exchange one lie (dependency) for another, you are still in bondage. Programs do this, I know this to be factual. If you need a program to live your life, you are dependent on it as if it was the very thing you have been trying to free yourself from. Dependency is a lie no matter what label it’s given. Read this slowly and see if it isn’t true. The lies of the Conditioned Mind are so subtle, truth is dismissed before it’s even investigated. A lie is always a lie, and until the root of the lie is exposed, truth will remain hidden beneath the justification caused by the ignorance of the lie. Only truth truly sets you free.

Book Of The Day

Latest Poem

There's a space

in my chest

where I feel

the absence of

my heart - that was torn out

by you.

The space is small

and insignificant;



like my feelings were

to you.

It wasn't always like that;

my heart.

It was big once...


and full of love

for you.

Until that day,

when I saw

the truth

behind the lies

that were a part

of you.

Now I know

I was nothing more

than a puppet

to the devil


in you.

Copyright by C. J. Spammer - 29 March 2017

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